After watching the Golden Globes last night, I thought I'd take a beat from last fall's "the rent is too damn high party" and title this blog accordingly. Before I begin my reflections on the night, I must admit that as someone who usually meets most political campaigning with a rolling of the eyes, I took particular delight in the New York gubernatorial race, following it very closely. I really did enjoy Jimmy McMillian and his "rent is too damn high" campaign, including the creative theme song he developed with a pumpin' beat. For becoming something of a national icon (okay maybe just for 15 minutes), I have to admit - he was straight-forward and you knew exactly where he stood on his issue. No ambiguity there. I admire that.
But I digress...After absorbing this morning's declarations of red carpet "dos" and "don'ts" (and I truly think it was definitely saying something if you were a red carpet "do;" the competition for "don'ts" was tough) - I got to thinking about all the effort that goes into looking your best for the myriad of award shows that happen throughout the year. It must be just like getting ready to get married, only it's something that happens again and again and again.
Recently, I've been reflecting about the months of preparation I took leading up to my wedding in June 2010, mainly because I used to be in shape (it was only six months ago!). I have since gained several pounds and become very, very out of shape. I ask myself after each workout that absolutely feels like torture, like I might throw up - "why, why, why did I let myself get out of shape?" What a harsh reality. I look around, who can I blame - my husband? No...I know, my kids (wait, I don't have any kids)...Oh darn. There is no one else to blame. This is something I have done to myself. I have to blame me (bites my tongue). That just makes the pride hurt that much worse!
I can remember my motivation for crossfit - I couldn't miss more than a few days in a row, otherwise the workout and next several days afterward hurt like hell. I recall getting sick one week and when I started back, it was a hellish nighmare of burpees, box jumps, thrusters and pull-ups. I can feel the sweat stinging in my eyes just thinking about it. That's probably one reason why I didn't return after the honeymoon.
I spent endless amounts of blood, sweat and tears (as I have said before) on preparing myself for the big day. And, it was so exhausting in fact, that I carried my need for rest straight through the honeymoon and most of the way through 2010 (until about Nov/Dec). I can imagine that preparing for these types of awards shows would require the exact same preparation as the big day - just more frequent. No wonder they don't gain weight, all this work would be so tiring, it would be too much effort to eat!
That would mean outfit preparation - not just figuring out what to wear, but jewelry, purses and shoes for each outfit (in the real world, you have to be your own stylist, but in the not-so-real world, I guess you'd hire someone who would probably talk you into wearing something so hideious for your body, you'd end up on the fashion "don't" list). Better to be your own stylist, I think.
After the outfit, you need perfect nails (with coordinated toe and finger nail colors), spray tanning (I did this at least five or six times, not sure how I did not end up with tanning spray all over my car by the end of it and it is not the most comfortable thing in the world. It looked pretty natural, but I did not feel natural - as I rubbed off color on anything I came in contact with. Going to the grocery store after a session was not a good idea. I was like a science project.).
There's also waxing (painful), hair cut and color (super time consuming), the list goes on and on. And not to mention all the money I spent! Well, and more so, the time! I was constantly running from one appointment to the next. I filled up a whole week before the wedding with this stuff. That's not even factoring in the constant trips to the gym (Ultimate Crossfit and hot yoga). That was just a glimpse of how I spent several weeks leading up to the wedding. My husband would be mortified (well, mainly if he knew the beauty tab)! (Although, I'm sure he loved the end result, and so did I). Don't get me wrong, I am a girly girly and love getting pampered, it was just a bit much. I did throw in a few massages, which were devine, and looking back, probably took some of the edge off.
Now, fortunately, I had a lot of spare (if you want to call it that) time to work on all of my beautifying before the wedding. And of course, if you are a celebrity, part of your "job" is finding the time to fit all of these activities into your daily life. That is not the case for real people - I haven't even been able to get my nails done in weeks (and I've been so lazy, I haven't even filed them - they are jagged edges just waiting to rip skin - watch out, I could get into a cat fight with you. Meowr!).
Perhaps this is one reason why I love to take out the old judgement hat and rain down my decisions as these scarlets walk (or hobble in a drunken stupor - you know who I'm talking about, and there's always at least one of them!) down the red carpet. We can imagine all the work and effort that has taken place for them to get into "Golden Globe" shape, and by God, don't we just love it when they fall short. All that hard work - for the Glamour "don't" page! Oh honey! Bless her heart!
For us who live in reality, we take joy in the bride walking down the aisle who looks her very best on her big day (at least I'd say 99% of us do!). And that's because as "normal people," we completely deserve to have that moment in the spotlight. It makes us feel good, seeing someone "normal" basking in the efforts of bridal preparation. So completely deserving. And apparently, as my blog would suggest, so completely lucky to only have to go through all of that preparation every now and then.
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