May drive you insane. For the past week and half, I have launched a fairly aggressive amount of household improvements, with the gracious help (and counseling) of my husband. Right now, I have just "taken a break" for a moment. I'll set the stage for you - I'm recovering our set of four dining room chairs - sounds simple enough, right? I am on chair number four. Said chair has always been the troublemaker chair, ever since we inherited the set from my sister-in-law.
But I digress, what is wrong with the chair in question you may ask? Well, it has a major stain covering most of the fabric. Two to three years ago when we got these chairs, I do remember someone saying, "oh there's that stain, but you can just recover them, the fabric needs to be modernized anyway" So easy...sigh...oh yes, if only things in my world were just that easy.
Chair one was by far the easiest - a cruel twist of fate. Halfway into chair two, the staple gun broke - which created a major meltdown - my meltdowns do not happen often (except for this week) and they usually involve tears, blood (as a result of accidental scratches from tools or furniture) and making angry voices or grunts at inanimate objects - "Why are you so stubborn wall? I hate you screw - go into the wall! Crap, I stripped this screw, get out of the wall! I know said I go in, but now I'm telling you to GET OUT!!!!" Those were actually examples from another project, called "try to hang four curtain rods in very tight corners and right where studs are in the living room." There won't be an encore performance of that one - the curtain has set, so to speak.
My husband took the staple gun and was determined to beat it. He spent about 20 minutes fixing the staple gun after I banished myself to the bedroom to chill out. After the staple gun started working again, I quickly finished up chair two and moved on to chair three. So, that brings me to good old chair four. Just so you know, it is still sitting on the floor with it's bottom-side up and I swear it is smirking at me, even from the next room over.
I am angry with this chair for a few reasons (1) it is missing one of the four screws at the bottom to begin with, which made me feel happy at first (oh, so nice, I only have to deal with three screws), but then I thought, I really could use all the screws because (2) one of the screws is stripped and will not come out and (3) this is the last chair and (4) did I mention that this was the last chair?!? So, I have commenced yoga breathing and have walked away, although it continues to mock me. I can see you chair four!
This was the last chair (and the very last task) in the home improvement maddness in which I have participated over the past eight to ten days. What else have I (better say we) done - let's see -- hung four sets of rods and drapes in the living room (and now as previously noted, I know why the former owners didn't ever attempt this), hung pictures from our wedding throughout the house, hung a new bulletin board, rearraged a bedroom, hung rod and drapes in kitchen, hung drapes in bedroom, and so on. Did I mention the yard - planted flowers upon flowers, potted and in beds and I'm telling you, it better not freeze! Those pansies better like the cold, dang it!
And today, after all this stress on my body, on my mind, was the very last thing - recovering the chairs. The whole concept got me completely out of my comfort zone, and I had even placed a "?" beside it on my list of things to do. I can install an anchor in the wall just fine, but sewing or anything in the sewing family? I have no clue. I cannot even sew on a button - I know, I know. It ranks up there on things I should know how to do, such as calculate tip without a tip card (I don't like to do math, it's not that I can't do it! I just prefer to use the card for accuracy!).
I decided to go to Mary Jo's cloth store and before I even walked in there, I was feeling uneasy and intimidated. I have no idea what type of fabric I need to recover these chairs and if there's anything I absolutely hate, it is looking like I have no idea and saying something (or doing something) foolish to a bunch of experts.
I walked in and casually strolled around the store. "Will someone help me?," I thought. "Someone better help me because I have NO idea what I'm doing." Trying to look like I know what I'm doing. I decide I'll start with silks - I see dozens of colors, no beige. Ah ha, sign points to beige and white silks are in the corner.
I walk over there, dragging the chair seat I brought with me. I browse around the fabrics. $25 a yard. "Hmmm...is that expensive," I wonder? Aphrension looms over me, along with indecisiveness. This seems wrong. I called my best friend, who had been here earlier to see if she could give me the scoop on how this worked - voicemail. Women, who seemed to know exactly the yardage and type of fabric they needed, were teeming all over the store. I tried not to look panicked. I considered abandoning ship, but I was all the way in Gastonia, for crying out loud. Determination hit me - I have got to find a salesperson, someone has got to help me.
Apparently, I was in the bridal section, which might explain the $25/yard fabrics, which I later learned was probably really expensive compared to what I need. A sign that said "upholstery" caught my eye and I decided I better move over there. Before I started crying "mayday mayday," I finally found a salesperson to ask how in the world this place works.
I find a fabric I like, get one of the teenage guys to bring it over to a cutting station for me, and they tell me I've got the wrong kind of fabric. I felt like I wanted to cry - now I look like an idiot. I don't know what I'm doing and at this point, I made sure that was clear. Fortunately, the saleswoman was extremely helpful and the panic welling up in my throat subsided. She took me back to the stacks and we found a better suited fabric for the chairs. She took measurements, she made cuts. I had what I needed. Relief. Now get me out! I don't like being out of my element, but I told myself, this was a growing experience. Just as every project my husband and I ticked of the list of things we've been meaning to do for the past two to three years (in a week and half) was a growing experience.
Did it make me stronger? Well, that dern chair four is still sitting on the floor. It's probably the 100th hurdle I've had to face in the past eight to ten days and I'm simply exhausted. I'm waiting for my husband to get home and maybe he can win the battle for me. He's been my steady rock along the way, not letting me quit. So, I won't quit tonight, but I think I'm done with projects for another two to three years. I think I'm good with the "strength" I've gained from this exercise.
Update: Hubby got home, asked what's up and I told him about chair four. He came in and saved the day for the second time, by ripping that baby out! Take that chair four!
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